An unusually common phenomenon: the surreal experience. The death and life of a loved one. A traumatic event. An unprecedented moment. The first time we were overwhelmed beyond response capacity. When we are outmatched… yes, until we are outmatched, we don’t recognize it as a possibility.
When we get to similar moments, we remember what was all too real. That trauma is an echo of his first intrusion. It has become us in those situations in which we are triggered. It is very, very real. As I said, and it bears repeating until we understand, it was all too real, ‘amazing’ as it was. (I say ‘incredible’ because we ourselves are forced to question ourselves, and those who are insensitive further complicate that fracture of our experience of our identity).
We must stop questioning ourselves…as much as possible. This is a crucial step in our healing.
We are now in a position, by God’s strength, to stand with those, like us, who had to learn to stand again.
We are invited to the Great Knowledge. If only the narcissist can admit that he is damaged deep down in his identity, he has a chance to recover into a contributing humanity. They, like us, must lose to gain themselves. That seems beyond many, because it requires a value of honesty that not many want to pay the price for. The Great Knowledge is the knowledge of oneself, warts and all. It’s not pretty, but it’s true. However, understand this, we are loved just as we are!
Times when the trauma was so real, part of ourselves broke away. A part of us is now sensitive to the type of stimulus it triggers. And we all have triggers!
Awareness is our key, as we protect ourselves, being honest with ourselves and therefore have the ability to live in the Great Healing, which extends to the lives of others. If you know our weakness and how we trigger ourselves, you are invited to the Great Acceptance. Awareness of the pain we endure in our grievance, because there is only healing when we find that acceptance, to begin a journey of faith towards healing.
Faith? Why? Go into the pain to release the pain. That requires faith. To believe that it’s worth it… that healing is possible.
The Great Acceptance is the unconditional love that you and I deserve, but must earn, through the other person’s choice of trust. We can only invite them.
It all starts with reality, it happened. He really did!
It cannot be undone. What is is. As we accept it, we no longer need to be in a reality of denial.
I really wonder how many wounded people there are in society who do nothing about what happened to them, and then refuse to let others call out the truth about their past.
The greatest kindness anyone can do is to allow another person your experience.
We cannot enter into a healing process unless we can begin to confront our tyrant: the triggering event. Many times the goal is not to be healed, because, at least as Christians, we believe that it happens in glory after we die. However, we can travel further into the Great Knowledge, the Great Healing and the Great Acceptance.
For some reading this, the topic is in the present tense: it is happening. Expect. You will do it!