As adult women, we come to trust the fact that experience matters in many aspects of our lives. We date, maybe get married and then get divorced, and we think we know what we’re doing when it comes to first dates and new relationships. But really?
We may no longer meet men at frat parties and nightclubs, but in this age of internet dating and online relationships, ALL women, regardless of age, need a new set of rules to stay safe.
Whether you’re an experienced dater or a woman just getting back in the game, we’ve got the tips you need to make dating safe:
1) Know your date
- If possible, Google it before the date and verify as much information as you can. The internet is a wonderful tool, but people can easily misrepresent themselves. If he’s worth dating, he’s worth googling.
- Try taking a photo of her license plate: One of our dating goddesses meets her date outside the front door of the bar or cafe, uses her phone to grab her license plate and sends it to a girlfriend’s phone.
2) Have an escape plan
- Send a text message to a friend and tell them where you’ll be and approximately what time you’ll be home; arrange an emergency code word, but also let your friend know if you’re staying later than planned.
- Bring a few friends to the bar with you to sit discreetly to the side and only be there if you need support in case you’re feeling concerned about your date’s behavior.
- Meeting in a public (and crowded) place is always safer; it gives you the most security, the most opportunities to leave, and you’re most likely to avoid an awkward situation if things don’t go well. Don’t rely on him for your transportation early in a relationship.
3) Limit the amount of information you give out
- Download an anonymous texting app or use things like Google Voice or Vonage to block phone calls.
- Initiate all contact; make him give out his number, always call or text him, not the other way around.
- Use a nickname and avoid using emails that could connect to you. Make sure your email address and phone don’t post your full full name – block that feature on your mobile phone and use a secondary email where you can sign up with your nickname.
- Beware: if you’re tech-savvy, they can find you via your IP address! Be careful!
4) Trust your instincts and watch the signs.
- Watch for sudden, intense passion or aggressive sexual behavior that doesn’t seem to respond to anything you’ve said or done.
- Watch for “180°”‘s personality changes, from kind and loving to accusing and suspicious of your every move.
- Watch for aggressive actions or language, controlling behavior, threats, unfair accusations, or impulsiveness.
- Be aware of repetitive or late-night phone calls, drive-bys, or any unannounced arrival at your workplace or home.
A new relationship or even a casual date can be exhilarating and exciting, but it’s critical to remember not to get caught up in the moment. No matter how highly recommended a man is by a friend or how often he has chatted online, meeting face to face always means a certain level of vulnerability on his part. It is not paranoid or suspicious to play it safe and make sure you have the best and most exciting dating experience possible. That being said, there are thousands of great loving men out there just looking and hoping to meet a great woman.