There are few things more painful than feeling useless or “not good enough” minute by minute, day by day, and year after year. I know this because I have felt that way myself, much of the time during the first half of my 60s. Additionally, I have provided counseling and treatment to many hundreds of people who have experienced similar feelings over the past 30 years as a physician. For those individuals, their beliefs went far beyond emotion. In fact, many of them felt that they knew “beyond a doubt” that they were as worthless as they felt. How painful it is to live in that place, and yet how wonderful it is that there is hope for each of us, that we can enhance our sense of self, even to the absolute knowledge that we are wonderful beyond words. . . It is this gradual but growing understanding that can increase the motivation to change. You and I are worth the effort it takes to transcend illness and create a recovered life.
Why do medical and mental health professionals dedicate our lives to helping those who suffer from illnesses? There are many reasons, but key among them is understanding that each person we serve is worth everything we can do and more. As Mother Teresa said: “I do not serve because a person is in need, but because she is holy.”
I believe that our clients, those who suffer, seek help for many reasons, including these two main ones: 1) they feel an intense and utter despair that has brought them to their knees, and 2) because deep down, beyond all doubt and contempt of themselves, and far beyond their negative and false perceptions of themselves, they also have a small glimpse of their value, that perhaps they are also worth the efforts of themselves and others to make the change, to transcend the disease and receive the blessing of healing. That little splinter, that glimpse, is a little seed that can grow.
GA people begin to take steps toward recovery, they find reasons to recover, and any reasons must be honored and remembered to strengthen the resolve toward recovery. Desperation, fear, love for others, passion, life purpose, deep desires, and dreams are among the common reasons for recovery and living. Eventually, on the road to recovery, people learn that, in addition to all other worthwhile reasons, the truth that “I’m worth it too” is a powerful force that helps propel people toward better, more caring choices. staff and hard work. towards recovery.
Acquiring a sense, an understanding, and even a secure knowledge of one’s worth is a process that is very gradual. Because we are patient and take action consistently over time, it helps us not only achieve recovery, but also maintain and retain it long-term. It protects against relapse and protects and solidifies recovery in our lives.
The word recovery means “to bring back what was lost.” In that sense, when we are in recovery, we regain our lost perceptions, perspectives, thoughts, feelings, relationships, and sense of identity—both who we are and who we can be. Similarly, when we regain our true sense of ourselves and our own worth,
We also recover what was lost. I honestly believe that each of us once, at a very young age, had some understanding of our worth. This can be seen in a small child running around the house naked, escaping from his parents for a few moments after a bath, or in the unsuspecting words of a child, who simply says whatever he feels without hesitation. These are examples of the state of a child before he begins to lose his sense of self and his sense of goodness. This is before we receive false messages from those around us that teach us that we are deficient, broken, not good enough, and not enough.
Fortunately, while there are many losses in life, “loss of sense of self and worth” is one that can be recovered. The following are some ideas and places to begin to rebuild a heightened, truthful, and positive sense of self and awareness of one’s individual worth:
Be willing to be wrong about how worthless you think you are
Start with the opening that “maybe” I’m not as bad or useless as I think I am. “Realities can start with Maybes.”
Seek to see something of your identity and worth in the mirror of the faces of those you know love you, care about you, know you well, and have your best interests at heart. Start by at least admitting that they see the good in you, even if you don’t understand what or how.
Seek to become your own mirror and witness to your beauty, your wonder, your magnificent worth, and your goodness.
Learn to look for and notice the good things about yourself. The things you feel good about, the things you’re proud of. Find them, tell the truth about them, document them in your journal, and read these journal entries often.
Treat yourself “as if” you are worth everything, until you know that you are worth everything. Treating yourself will help those feelings and understandings grow.
Learn to leave behind the harmful external criteria of self-esteem as sold in our modern Western Culture Marketplace. Stop using Appearance and Approval as markers or evidence of self-worth
Learn to look for inner evidence of self-esteem including: talents, gifts, hard work, effort, deepest desires, principles, character, love, commitment, and the intentions of the heart.
Learn to listen, understand, and then follow your own heart, and understand that it is linked to your own identity and self-esteem.
Set reasonable and modest goals, and then take baby steps toward your goals. Keep your feet moving in the direction of the goal, not with lightning speed, but with consistency and persistence.
Strive to live a life of consistency and integrity so that you can say to yourself “Not everything went my way today, but at least I tried to live the way I think I need and want to live” (remember: perfection is unnecessary, while work is required).
Learn to self-correct when you make a mistake, instead of becoming a harsh judge and jury. Learn to learn from mistakes, get up, disregard, clarify the learnings and try again with your newly gained understanding.
Reflect on the truth that we are the art of the Creator, “who did not make garbage”, but rather, a person of great beauty both inside and out.
Remember that a sense of self-esteem is both psychological and spiritual. Embrace your spirituality, honor your spiritual beliefs, and live with goodwill toward everyone, including yourself.
Remember that love for oneself and for others is the most powerful healing force available. Take steps to ask for help and receive love in your life. Express your love for others without “holding back.”
Friends – Improving self-esteem, self-esteem, self-image, body image, sense of self, sense of identity, self-understanding, and self-love are lofty goals, but goals within the reach of all of us. These states of true understanding come over time, as a result of processes of being willing to see, doing the hard work of treating yourself well, giving what you have to give to others, and receiving the love and support that others give you. they also have for us. . Let us all advance on this path to be, to know and to become, to never stop!