There is a certain dating website that will remain nameless.
In all of its advertisements, it is sold as a means of finding your soul mate.
Oh true love…
Except…
Well, it’s obviously a hookup site.
How can I know?
You can tell the intent behind something not in its marketing but in how it’s designed. In this case, the website allows you to filter matches by all sorts of things: gender, location, age, salary, education…
Everything useful to find a partner.
But also not only height, but also hair color and eye color.
Only the most insipid, superficial and deluded people say that their soulmate must have hazel eyes.
But for a night of cheap, harmless fun? Well, that makes a little more sense.
This trap can also appear in your affirmations.
When you say you want to find ‘love’ or ‘wealth’, what do you mean? Does love mean you’re married? Does wealth mean you live in a mansion?
You may have that in mind, without even realizing it.
Except you know, when you think about it, marriage doesn’t equal love. There are many unhappy marriages in the world and many devout people who see it as a formality.
Heck, if you just want to ‘be married’, there are plenty of people who will marry you for $100. Put an ad online and choose who responds first.
When it comes to a mansion, there’s nothing stopping you from renting one on AirBnB or a similar site. You could even rent one, if you’re not picky about location, status, or if you don’t get kicked out when your savings run out.
I know I know I’m being condescending. Obviously, that’s not what you mean when you say love or wealth…
Except, for some of you, it is.
You have something specific in mind, without which it won’t count.
You could be a billionaire but, without the mansion, you won’t ‘feel’ rich.
One approach is to order your own expectations. You’re not doing yourself a favor by going after something so arbitrary.
Another approach is to ask yourself this simple question:
What else would be as good as this?
Would living on a ship, arriving in a new port every two weeks, feel richer than a mansion? If that is a valid option, it prevents you from following too narrow a path. Also, a nice boat can cost you less than a house, let alone a mansion; perhaps your wealth is already within your grasp.
Affirmations help you focus. They can also help you fix it. One helps you move toward your goals, the other saps your enthusiasm and time while offering little in return.