When I was in my teens, I was acutely aware of two powerful core desires and drivers in my life, and at the time they seemed irreconcilable.
On the one hand I wanted to be a businessman and make money and on the other hand I wanted to follow a spiritual path and maybe become a monk (which will amuse any of my friends who know me well)!
Gradually, as the years passed, I began to see that these two drives were intertwined in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
For example, the ups and downs of my business life have been the catalyst for much personal development and spiritual growth, and the income generated through my business has enabled me to sponsor and support various spiritual initiatives and activities. This website is an example of that.
In more recent times, this has allowed me to become more interested in mentoring and providing ongoing support to various people.
How to identify your main desire
If you want to achieve success in any area of your life, there is a very basic and powerful way to achieve it. It is easy to understand and is fundamental to your nature.
This is the way that people in all walks of life have achieved success since the beginning of time.
It is the building block on which all success is built and the rocket fuel that powers it.
To achieve any success in life, you must accurately identify what it is that you hunger, thirst and crave.
Imagine that you are lost in a desert and soon you feel hot and thirsty. You would do or give anything for a drink of cool, clear water.
This overwhelming thirst is what we refer to as a “Core Desire.”
The Zen Master and the Watering Hole
Another powerful metaphor for finding your core desire is provided by the story of the Zen master who was repeatedly asked by a very devout and searching student:
“Master, what does it take for me to attain enlightenment?”
The Zen master ignored the student. She asked again and was ignored. Finally she said:
“Master, please tell me, what should I do to attain enlightenment?”
The Zen master grabbed the student by the neck and held his head underwater in a nearby trough.
30 seconds later, he lifted the student’s head and immediately lowered his head back under the water.
This process was repeated a few times until finally the Zen master relented, after which he said to the half-choked, panting student:
“When you seek zen as you now seek air, THEN you will find it.”
3 key steps
1. Accurately identify your main desires
Core desires are those things you want so badly that you will do or become whatever it takes to get them, no matter how difficult, risky, or costly.
These Basic Wants are things your heart is set on, things you want with all your heart.
Core desires are the things you would be willing to die for.
In my case, my fundamental desires have not changed since I first became aware of them many years ago. The desire to be a successful businessman and the desire to be a spiritual man remain as powerful as ever.
2. Unleash a powerful force within you: the Conquering Force.
When your core desire is so strong that you would risk your life on it, then you are aligned with one of the most powerful drivers you have: the survival instinct.
This life force is overwhelmingly powerful, and when your subconscious mind realizes that you will risk anything to achieve your core desire, you see achieving that desire as part of your survival.
With this drive, fueled by passion, commitment, and persistence, you can and will overcome all obstacles. It will not be easy, it can be bloody, but in the end you will succeed.
Without this drive, you are likely to give up or give up.
I have found that my desire to succeed in business has sustained me through many long and difficult years. Whatever happens, as long as I’m alive I’ll always be a businessman because it’s in my DNA, it’s who I am.
I have found on many occasions that my spiritual drive has sustained my business side.
But I have also found that my desire to follow the spiritual path has at times put me in positions and led me to make decisions that at the time seemed like I was putting my business at risk.
So, in this last stage of my life, I have realized that the stronger of these two impulses is my spiritual impulse. But I am still and always will be a businessman.
If this sounds contradictory and complicated, maybe it is, but it’s my reality and I don’t regret it.
If I were to die tonight, I think there may be a few people that I have somehow helped make a difference.
I am confident that I have more years ahead of me to enjoy more business success and make a difference in more lives.
For me, I can’t think of a better way to live or die.
3. Find a teacher, mentor, or coach to help you realize your Top Desires and focus your Conquering Force.
Without this assistance, guidance, and support, especially in the beginning, you may not gain the knowledge, master the skills, and endure all the difficulties and setbacks along the way.
This area is hugely important and I will write a separate article on this topic. I will conclude for now by saying that one of the most important lessons I have learned in life is that over time we become the company we keep, so choose it wisely and well.
As Goethe supposedly said: “Tell me who you spend time with and I’ll tell you who you are.”
Similarly, Jack Canfield said: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
For this reason, I have chosen to spend time and work with people who are smarter, more capable, and more successful in business than I am and with others who are more spiritual and insightful than I will ever be.
“If you don’t get what you want, that’s a sure sign you didn’t mean it.” (Rudyard Kipling)
Read more: Core Desire