Sometimes I think I don’t know who I really am. I’ve been lost in the confusion of who people think I am.
My husband thinks I’m a person who has no sense of humor, doesn’t drink, and can’t ‘go with the flow’. Of course, he doesn’t realize that I’m not some salmon who wants to swim upstream with him while everyone else is going the other way.
On the other hand, my children consider me an expert in giving ‘guilt trips’. I have no idea what they mean. In fact. What is a guilt trip? I wouldn’t know one if he hit me in the face.
My grandchildren consider me their best playmate, always ready to give hugs and kisses, talk on the phone for hours and put their photos on my screen saver just because I love them. Unconditionally.
Looking in the mirror, the image I see is closer to what my grandchildren see. I’m not perfect, of course, but I don’t see in myself some of the qualities that my husband and children see.
Maybe after all these years they don’t see the real me, or I can’t see the real me. What is the truth? Who I am? His version of the gold mine?
There is often a conflict between what we perceive of ourselves and what others see. That is why we have wars and divorces and repudiation of parents and children.
I have found that the best defense is an offense. If you can’t beat them, join them. “You are quite right, my dear.” Please pass me the salt.