There’s a boy you think is attractive. You see it all the time at school, work, or maybe at your favorite coffee shop. When you know there’s a chance you’ll run into him, you find yourself spending a little more time perfecting your appearance that morning. It’s working because there’s no doubt he can tell. He is always watching, smiling or showing some kind of interest from afar. You echo his sentiments by talking, smiling, and making eye contact, letting him know it’s okay for him to come closer because you really ARE interested.
Then why doesn’t he come talk to you? What does it take for this guy to make a real move?
What usually happens is that women start making excuses for him. “Well, maybe he’s just shy” or “Maybe I haven’t given him enough signals to let him know I’m interested.” We start hearing the latest women’s liberation discussions that women should be able to step up, cheer us up, and take matters into our own hands. Seriously ladies, WRONG ANSWER! don’t do it Two reasons why you shouldn’t take the first step:
#one. You lose your power. For whatever reason, many women think that making the first move puts us in a position of power. They think that waiting for a man to make the first move shows weakness or lack of control over the situation. When in reality, a woman who takes the first step is the complete opposite. By taking the first step, we take away man’s reason to persecute us and we become the persecutor. Being the prize a man wins gives us all control! Why the hell are you doing the job of chasing the guy? Unlike women, men are natural hunters and now you are done with hunting. He will entertain you, but his interest in winning you over is non-existent, you’ve already created a perception of yourself with him that will label you as a mere ego boost or even “easy.” You take out of the equation the thought that “anything worth having is worth working for.” Free things are often of less value and can be thrown away or thrown away without consideration. Once you start dating this guy, of course, you’d like him to see you as marriage material, but in most cases, you’ve created a real challenge for yourself to get past that initial impression. I’m not saying you can’t get over it, but why do you have to?
#2. You will save yourself from possible anxieties and headaches that, frankly, we do not need. Ladies, if you’ve smiled, waved, and given a guy every reason to believe that he’s okay to approach and for some reason never does, it’s definitely unnerving. Naturally, we are curious as to why. But know this; It’s for a very good reason. DON’T TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS from him! Trust me, leave him alone. There is something wrong with this guy and he will end up being an epic waste of your time or you could experience unnecessary confusion that delays a healthy relationship that was meant to be. He sees you and IS interested, but his lack of focus, believe it or not, is his attempt to do whatever he can to “save” you from whatever pain in the ass he already knows will be yours. However, there is a limit to his ability to “save” you. He is tempted by you and if you make it too easy for him, you will break him. The moment you take matters into your own hands and approach him, there is a high chance that you will accept his offer. Trust me, he would rather have fun with you than deal with his demons. You become a distraction to his progress, a delay to his inevitable. He’ll forget about whatever stopped him in the first place and enjoy the ride with you. But the enjoyment will be short-lived, for both of them. Whatever the problem, it may not go away on its own until 2 weeks, 2 months, or even 2 years later.
So what kind of problems are we talking about here?
He might be married or have a serious girlfriend, but he commits the sin of “wandering eye” every time you walk into the room because his attraction to you makes him consider cheating on you. His conscience, however, doesn’t have the guts to take the plunge, so he just flirts a little from afar.
You could be going through a difficult divorce or breakup, or for some other reason, you’re just broken. He knows that emotionally he has nothing to offer you. You seem like the type of woman he could develop a real relationship with, but he’s not ready and he knows it, so he’s chosen to admire you from afar.
It could be ruined. He feels less of a man because when he sees you he imagines taking you to his favorite restaurant with an ocean view, but right now, he can barely afford the cup of coffee he’s drinking. His self-confidence skyrockets due to his financial problems. When a man is in this state you are not seeing him at his best and you may lose interest in someone who could be great for you once he recovers.
Whatever his “problem” is, give him a chance to fix it on his own. Some of these things can take some real time for a man. If you have prayed and asked God to bring you the man He has destined for you, this man will prepare to be worthy of you. When he does, he’ll come to you and be a better man for it. Besides cheaters, a lot of these guys are really good. Just the fact that he wanted to “save” you tells you that when he’s healthy, he could be a great contender. If you rush, there will be a lot of unnecessary headaches because it will probably drag you into whatever situation it is. Give the man a chance to prepare for you.
Remember, what God wanted for you is for you. Go ahead, it will come over when and if the time is right.