Unless you’ve been to Mars preparing a welcome for NASA’s Mars rover, you probably know that many people practice Iyengar Yoga for stress relief and other health benefits. However, until now, no one has compiled a quick and easy-to-use list of excuses not to do yoga. As a public service, we’ve created a list of ten outstanding excuses to help those who want to avoid the stress relief, relaxation, weight loss, increased energy, and other health benefits of doing yoga.
If you do yoga:
1. You’ll look young and energetic instead of old and tired, and you’ll need to stop lecturing young people about how much easier it was when you were their age.
2. You will no longer freak out or lose your temper when the smallest things go wrong, and you won’t be able to avoid all those annoying people who didn’t like you because of your temperament and now want to be your friend.
3. You will lose the physical clumsiness, incoordination, and inability to touch, or even see, the toes that you have been cultivating as status symbols of the aristocratic life of leisure and ease that you lead.
4. You’ll blow your chance to win the gold medal at the upcoming International Couch Potato of the Year Championship if you get too energetic.
5. Your doctor will be lonely because you don’t see him as often and have no idea what else he could do with the money he spends on various medications.
6. Your health insurance premiums may no longer be as high as possible because you are doing something that will reduce your chances of serious illness.
7. You’ll have to forego your time-tested morning ritual of sucking, grimacing, tugging, and unzipping your pants to shut out your free time while you get dressed to greet another day.
8. You may have to ditch your award-winning collection of diet books if you start losing weight without trying to diet.
9. You’ll have a way to recover from jet lag and other forms of burnout and no longer be able to complain to everyone for weeks on end about how tired you are.
10. If you reduce stress, have more energy, and are in very good health, you may lose the excellent complaining skills you’ve developed over the years.
You now have a ready list of excuses to use when someone asks you why you haven’t tried yoga even though you are stressed and would like to relieve stress. However, if you have decided that you can use Iyengar Yoga for stress relief and other health benefits, then go ahead and take a yoga class! After all, what do you have to lose except that spare tire, constant state of fatigue and stress?