Here’s a giant tip if you’re dating online:
Don’t tell him where you live. Don’t tell him exactly what you do. Do not answer any of your questions exhaustively or directly.
At least not at first. And she will be drawn into the mystery of you.
Instead, suggest how you FEEL about where you live. Find a sexy way to say it: something about the trees outside the window, the smell of jasmine outside, your cool neighbors, how you can run out the door into the hills, near a park. Create a vision that she can project herself into.
Do not give the name of your neighborhood. That’s boring: it allows you to be pigeonholed, stereotyped by the reputation of the neighborhood or the city.
Labels close doors. The mystery, however, makes her want to open them.
Take, for example, your occupation.
Women want to know what you do for a living, and most men will just say the name of their job right away. Because?
Don’t be his toy; instead, you should play on their need. An effective way to do this is to communicate not what you do, but how you do it.
And, most importantly, how you serve others and give the gift of who you are. Because nothing is sexier for a real woman than a man who lives at the service of others.
If you can, describe what you do for how you serve. You will trigger a level of admiration from women reading your profile that is primal and powerful. You don’t have to be a senator, a Nascar driver or a fire captain to communicate how you help others.
Are you a carpenter? Then say… “I help people love their homes.”
An accountant? Then say, “I help people keep their lives together so they can enjoy their lives without stress.”
In Advertising or Marketing? “I ignite people’s imaginations.”
This approach will not only activate her sense of you as a leader and giver in your community, but whatever you give her, she will feel as if you are giving it to her.
She’s going to be inserted into the movie of your life anyway, so make the trailer for upcoming attractions as attractive as possible.
You will respond directly to her about your job and her title, but only once you’re sitting across from her in person.
Never before.
Captain of his own ship. He knows his own purpose. If you project into your profile that you are measured, controlled, limited, unmysterious, parceled, tiny, small, or bounded in any way, you lose your power and your mysterious wholeness.
If you give away all your information, you will drive women away, because the truth is that even you do not know your mysterious totality! If it’s any type of woman, she will end up teaching you things about yourself that you don’t know. So why try to bore her with a pale imitation of something you don’t even fully master?
Here is another idea, although it may seem small and subtle. Do not give your name from the beginning. Do not name your profile with your name. How do you know that a “Howard” didn’t bully her at age 12, or a “Bill” didn’t bully her in the third grade? I always sign my first email responses with just the first initial of my name until I’m asked if there’s anything else in my name.
Giving her just my initial keeps her moving towards me. Most women take it as a provocation, as a provocation. Only after you have them moving towards you should you tell them.
Keeping the mystery, even the subtlest kind, changes the dynamic of the chase. Now, she is now chasing you!