Tips for smooth visits between co-parents

Relationships that come to an end can be devastating for both the parents and the children involved. The process of leaving a partner becomes more complicated when children are involved, and child visitation plans are often put in place to ensure that both parents spend adequate time with the children.

Visits are extremely important, but this is also where many people diverge and conflicts arise. However, to make the process less traumatic for children, many child visitation lawyers suggest working to make visitation time successful. For this to happen, both parents will need to accept the fact that the children involved will have two separate homes where they should feel comfortable and safe.

Facilitate visits

Parents will need to push themselves when it comes to visits, making the experience a positive one for their children. Some of the ways this can be accomplished include:

  • Try to stick to a routine schedule so children are prepared for visits

  • Help children meet other children to foster friendships in both homes.

  • Making sure children have personal space in every home

  • Be open and communicate with the parents of your children

  • Treat everyone involved with respect.

  • Be flexible when it comes to schedules

  • Give each child involved individual time

Be respectful of the ex

Conflict may be unavoidable when it involves two different people, but conflict can leave children feeling caught in the middle. Rather than reacting to negative emotions, an experienced child visitation attorney would suggest setting them aside so that visitation does not affect relationships between children and parents. Some of the ways you can show respect include:

  • Arrive on time for children’s visitation plans

  • Inform ex-partners of changes in routines or lifestyle, such as a romantic partner

  • Sharing other changes, including phone numbers or jobs, with former partners

  • Realizing that changes in visitation are necessary as children get older

  • Let ex-partners know where children are during visits

What to avoid

There are also many things you shouldn’t do if you want to have smooth exchanges of visits and make sure the kids are as happy as possible. For example, you should avoid:

  • Convey divorce-related messages through your children

  • Holding children responsible for visitation plans

  • Using children to spy on ex-partners

  • Fighting or arguing with co-parenting partner during exchanges (drop off and pick up)

  • Making children feel guilty for spending time with or loving a parent

  • Withhold visitation for reasons other than the parent being a genuine threat

  • Let activities interfere with visiting time

There’s nothing easy about navigating child visitation and working with your ex to raise your children, but with effort you can make things a lot easier. Remember that your child comes first, so make sure they always stay safe and happy. Be respectful and do not allow stress or tension to escalate the conflict, as this could negatively affect the children.

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