When we meet someone we want to be with, we’re not sure if he loves us too. We can only assume that they do so by paying attention to their actions and listening to what they have to tell us. But what do we do when our partner says one thing and does another. In addition to trusting your intuition, you need to be aware of the ways people deceive others when they can’t ask for or don’t deserve what they want from you.
hard to get
To play this game, someone must be chasing a very attractive person who seems to be everything they want and need. However, they withhold sex, love, and affection until a later date, as long as the pursuer plays his cards right. The pursuer goes to great lengths to capture this elusive individual. The problem with the hard to get is that they are often not who they say they are. Beneath the surface is often a hurt, scared, and lonely person desperate for love. And the persecutor does not want to admit that he is not getting anything in return for his hard work in earning it. Another problem with playing hard to get is that it can often backfire. Just as the hard-to-get begins to develop feelings for the pursuer, he may have grown tired of pursuing him and found someone else who is willing and able to give him what he wants and needs. The pursuer can also get angry and try to get revenge by sticking around long enough for the hard to get to fall in love with them and then start “taking them down”, putting them in a vulnerable position. Or they can allow them to feel comfortable giving them everything they want and walking away immediately after they have had sex together.
All or nothing
Playing this game, the man involved can seem like a dream come true. He is handsome, funny, smart, good in bed, and has a job. And he wants to get married and take care of his wife. But, right now, he has some issues to deal with. The woman is desperate to believe that he is who he says he is and ignores the fact that this man always seems to disappear when the going gets tough. However, he manages to return just as things start to look up. But, she just so happens that he has been involved in another bad situation. For example, he has been fired from his job or his ex-wife is causing him too much trouble for him to be fully available. He needs you right now is what he tells the victim of him. The problem is that he still needs financial and emotional support. He is so grateful that the woman is there for him that he brags to everyone about how wonderful she is, thus playing on his need to feel needed. So much so, in fact, that she ends up doing it all by herself. He just so happens that when he is in a position to help, he gets upset about something that has happened in the relationship. But, he finds his way back once he’s broke. This woman does not want to admit that this man does not care about her and is only there to use her for what he has. When she demands that he reciprocate, he will only claim that she has done nothing for him. He gets angry and uses this as an excuse not to do anything for her. This man only cares for himself and is willing to go to any lengths to avoid doing anything for others, including leaving town to avoid paying child support.
The consequences
This man has left his girlfriend claiming that he can no longer give her what she wants and needs. She allows him to convince her that she pushed him into the arms of another woman who is doing a better job of holding him back. However, he doesn’t mind being friends. She accepts the friendship, but her intentions are to get him back. Meanwhile, he allows his new girlfriend to believe that he is committed to their relationship. That is until later when she finds out that he is still playing with her ex. As she begins to put her foot down, he has come up with an excuse to continue the affair. They have been arguing and fighting and cannot get along with each other. And it’s her fault is what he’s telling her. Then the new woman starts working hard to prevent him from getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. However, it is too late for them to reestablish the close bond they supposedly once shared. No one is willing to walk away. Instead, they blame each other for their inability to have it. They ignore their womanizing ways of hurting and disrespecting each other. And in the meantime, she gets away with not contributing. His plan is to cause himself too much anguish and pain for the other to stay, since the man has a lot of trouble letting go of either of them. They continue, even when they notice that he has been with someone new. Losing him, in his eyes, would mean failure and show that they are worthless for love. However, the real problem is that the man doesn’t really want either of them and he will do anything to avoid commitment.