Fear
What am I afraid of, you ask.
From myself, I answer.
The me that I have hidden deep down
the one that I’m afraid you won’t like,
the one that sometimes I don’t like either.
I am afraid that parts of this me
will rise to the surface
And I won’t be able to push them down
I will no longer be able to hide them
And maybe I lose some of what I have
my friends,
my loves,
my current lifestyle.
I feel like many parts of me are fighting
for the control of my being.
I feel shattered, confused
v wondering what I can safely let slip away,
and what will escape.
I wonder how I will pull myself together
which pieces will remain, and
that will be gone.
I do not know what is going to happen
And I’m afraid of the unknown
It’s much safer to exist like me
But I know I must face myself, my fears
if I’m going to have some peace,
and I want peace.
Fear: that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. The sensation that makes sweat begin to flow. The feeling that your blood vessels are constricting so that you cannot catch your breath. The feeling that makes you think you are losing your voice. The feeling that prevents us from achieving many things, that prevents us from trying something new.
Fear is, and always has been, one of humanity’s greatest enemies. The fear of public speaking is higher than the fear of death. When Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” he was saying that the emotion of fear, rather than the reality of what we fear, is what causes us anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. When we develop the habit of courage and unwavering self-confidence, a new world of possibilities opens up for us.
When we have limited information, we tend to be tense and unsure about the outcome of our actions. Ignorance makes us fear change, fear the unknown, and avoid trying something new or different. But the reverse is also true. Just collecting more and more information on a particular topic makes us have more courage and confidence in that area. Imagine how free we would feel and what we could achieve if we could live without fear.
The only way to deal effectively with fear is to face it; ask ourselves, what is the worst that can happen? Usually what we imagine is much worse than the actual result. It is ironic that some people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of driving in traffic. However, many more victims and deaths result from traffic accidents than from public speaking. The brave person is simply one who advances despite fear. It is a curious fact, but when you confront your fears and move towards what you fear, your fears decrease and your self-esteem and self-confidence increase.
Maybe you remember Anna in the King and me. She was afraid of the King and that’s why she sang a song about her fears and how she noticed that when she pretended not to be afraid and cheated on others, she also felt less fearful.
As Brian Tracy says, “The habit of courage can be learned in the same way that any other skill for success is learned. To do so, we must work systematically to diminish and eradicate our fears, while at the same time building the kind of courage that allows us to face the inevitable ups and downs of life without fear. “
Fear is a natural survival mechanism. It can motivate us or stop us in our tracks. In situations that pose a threat to life and limb, fear motivates us to be careful. However, fear is a problem when it interferes with our goals and achievements.
At Toastmasters, fear is what keeps us from participating in table settings or giving a speech. We may be afraid of making a fool of ourselves in front of others. It is possible that we were teased or made fun of when we were children. Whatever the reason for our fear, one of the reasons we come to Toastmasters is to learn how to overcome some of these fears about public speaking, and the only way to do that is by actually participating in the evening gathering activities. For those just starting out, the “Ah Counter” or “Timer” job may be an appropriate job. The job description can be easily read from the back of the diary if needed, saving the participant the hassle of actually having to remember duties, which relieves some of the tension. For those who are a bit more adventurous, participating in the Table Topics, giving the word of the week, or telling a joke or story may be the next step.
I decided to join in to help me overcome my fear of giving a speech to a large group of people. I have been giving training workshops for several years, but the workshops are very different from the speeches. In a workshop you have much more time to do things, you are in a discussion with others and you can go back if necessary. With a speech, you need to have everything in the correct order from the beginning. Working through the 10 speeches to your proficient Toastmaster certification can give you the direction and confidence you need to move forward.
Once you feel more comfortable with the people around you, you realize that they are only there to help you, to build you up. Then it’s time to take the next step and face your fears by giving your first speech: your Icebreaker. This will help you gain confidence to move on with the rest of your speeches. Remember, the more you learn, the easier it will be to face your fears.
Don’t be afraid to shine.
This world needs what you have to give.
Open the areas of your being;
Expose them to yourself, to others.
you are valuable.
You are unique.
You have a lot to give.
Don’t be afraid to give it to them.
As we take risks, we grow.
Every new experience is a risk.
We can try and maybe fail
And, as a result, grow …
Or repress and stagnate.
You have the potential
To be what you want.
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over.
Fly with the eagles.
Fly to life.
The world awaits you.
Copyright March 1987
Fran watson