When adversity strikes and your partner and friends remain compassionate and supportive, it’s the best of circumstances. You can find the depth of your friendships when the going gets tough.
Emotionally healthy people can provide support. They can retrieve your prescription, prepare a meal, and keep you sane. If you need it, a friend can accompany you to a lawyer or a doctor. Listening to the said and the unsaid, friends are essential in difficult times.
Emotionally healthy people are able to handle their trauma without needing to compete with its challenge and without getting unduly upset about anything. They can be the rock for you, while managing their own life. They don’t expect you to support them as long as your needs are great. Granted, there may be a tipping point if your needs take more from your life than you can give. Even though no one is responsible for your life except you, healthy relationships are gifts in difficult times.
Sometimes many of your friends may be under their own stress. So see if you’re judging. Continue to let go of the attachment to certain friends helping you or certain people supporting you in a certain way.
Expectations make you hurt more when those expectations are not met. Also, expectations can overshadow your gratitude. When you expect certain actions, does the fulfillment qualify as a gift? Or is it a fulfilled expectation? If the friend knows there is a requirement, the contribution is short-circuited to the donor.
You may be given a short phone call to offer sweet words. If you’re grateful for it, the small act can lift your spirits, even if it doesn’t “completely cure what ails you.”
There may be more than emotionally healthy friends in your life. When you’re in trouble, the trick is to be aware of who in your life is willing to support you in word or deed. If you are open, you will find that the people you least expect to help come to your aid. Whether it’s from a friend or an acquaintance, the love of others can go a long way in speeding up your healing.
When this opportunity is closed, the contribution that acquaintances have to give is lost. Not everyone is in your inner circle. Any healthy relationship, like those outside of your main circle, can fill a void, just because they can. An acquaintance may have a skill that you need in a crisis. He can learn who cares more than he knew. Those acquaintances can take a more prominent place in your life after the adversity wears off.
Wherever it comes from and no matter how close you thought you were, healthy relationships are healing. A few words may be just what you need to get out of the rut and move past the current impasse. Accept the many people around you who would love to make a difference. Everyone is a gift in their own way.
Before adversity strikes, give thanks for the healthy relationships in your life. Let people know how much you appreciate them. To enjoy yourself to the fullest, strive to be that emotionally healthy relationship for others.