Ah, the empty nest. Their teenage children have moved out of the house. You have time to take a yoga class, have lunch with a friend, or learn a new hobby, until dad moves in with you because he can’t live alone anymore. Taking care of aging parents is hard, no matter how much you love them.
Caring for aging parents can be even more difficult when dad is uncooperative. And even though she’s a cranky old man, she’s his cranky old man, and it’s his job to find an elderly care solution that works for him. Here are 3 common elder care support issues and how to overcome them:
drug crashes
Not taking medication is one of the main reasons seniors are admitted to nursing homes. To avoid nursing home senior care solutions and keep mom at home longer, you’ll need to make sure she takes the prescribed medications.
First, recognize that there may be valid reasons Mom is refusing to take her pills: nasty side effects, interactions with other prescription drugs, cost concerns, forgetfulness, or dementia. Experts also say there’s another possibility: Mom may be rebelling against role reversal. This woman, who spent her entire life taking care of her own children, is now forced to take medication just like a 2-year-old.
When caring for elderly parents, one way to get over the medication crash is to allow her to feel some control over the situation. For example, she gives him a choice of what kind of snack or drink she has with her pills. Other experts suggest a reward system. For example, you might suggest, “Mom, you can watch your TV show after you take your pills.”
silent suffering
Cultural or generational beliefs actually prevent some seniors from sharing important health information or concerns with family members and doctors. While Mom’s ability to suffer in silence might qualify her for sainthood, she won’t do anything to ease discomfort, prolong life, or create elder care solutions.
If you are caring for elderly parents suffering in silence, the family will need to put on their Sherlock Holmes hats to monitor their care. Watch for small changes in behavior or appearance. Dad’s clothes start to hang on his already thin body? Is your shopping list for him made up of some bagels and cans of soda with no nutritional value? When was the last time mom changed the litter box? Noticing small but important changes will help you plan the right elder care solutions.
car riddles
One of the biggest battles facing many adult children caring for an aging parent is talking to a parent about giving up a driver’s license. Whether Mom can’t see when there’s a glare anymore or Dad asks passengers to help him judge distances, you’ll need to act to keep your parents and other drivers safe.
Some experts recommend staging an intervention. During this meeting, family, friends, and health professionals can share concerns with their parents, as well as information about how their performance behind the wheel has deteriorated. In serious situations, you may need to report your parents to the local Department of Motor Vehicles.
Taking care of elderly parents can be challenging, especially when you find out you need to raise your father. With patience, a little detective work, and compassionate intervention, you can make your elder care solutions more manageable.