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I’ve been a dating coach for over ten years and from what I know, men will just date forever until they find a woman who asserts herself as ‘the one’.
So when you’re clear that you really want to get the hot guy you see other women vying for, you need to take action. Because love is really like a war and people who are slow to act are annihilated! No matter what kind of background you come from, any woman can learn to be great at connecting with men.
The first and most important thing you need to do to get out of your depression and beat the female competition is to work on yourself and, in particular, on your self-esteem. You’ll need guts, but the fun part is that you don’t have to be able to grab a kid off the street and make it your own.
I have already mentioned that love is like war, and if you want to get what you want, sometimes you run the risk of getting hurt. Other women who are particularly jealous of you will try to ruin you with gossip and insults. The worst thing about that is that they could be your best friends.
Many women get caught up in this cycle of distrust, revenge and politics in part because of accumulated experiences from the past. They get distracted by the drama and end up completely derailed and don’t get the guy they wanted in the first place.
You see, gossip, revenge, fear, and mistrust can make you do some pretty stupid things. Stupid things you never want your man to know about. Fear makes you act needy or clingy, or makes you quickly lose your temper when you try to hide the fact that you hurt inside. All of these things can be interpreted by men in ways that make them think that you have ‘problems’ and that they will push him away from you. If he can’t get what he needs from you, he will look elsewhere for another woman.
First, promise yourself that you will never reveal all of your secrets to your friends again until they reveal all of theirs. And make sure you keep the guy you’re trying to get a secret from him until you’re sure he won’t meddle in your business. That means you close your lips. This will keep you healthy and feeling balanced. It will keep your self-esteem high, because you will be able to practice attracting the attention and affection of other men, without being interrupted or embarrassed by your girlfriends.
The reason to keep your mouth shut and your options open by not telling your girlfriends every decision you make regarding men is to protect yourself from letting them get jealous of you. Only with the big hurdle of peer pressure from your girlfriends removed can you feel more comfortable with yourself and focus on attracting and approaching men.
I know how hard it can be to just do and not do those things. But if you want to avoid the mistakes I’ve made many times and maybe the mistakes you’re making right now, then you really need to focus on getting the guy, instead of talking about getting him with your friends. Because there is no guarantee that the guy will be interested, but if you don’t do your best and try, you will never know. And when you don’t involve your friends too much, no one will know if it didn’t work out unless you tell them.
