Last spring I spent a weekend in Santa Fe with friends. While I was there, we spent a day hiking through the ancient ruins of the Native American villages in Bandelier National Park. We take the extra loop of the trail to visit a special ceremonial Kiva from the 1200s carved into the rock face of a mountain (A Kiva is a place of ritual and spiritual connection for the Pueblo). The problem was that to get to this special cave, we would have to climb wooden stairs up three steep cliffs. Did I mention that I am terribly afraid of heights?

On our way to the ceremonial cave, there were signs that read dire warnings: “Do not attempt to climb the stairs if you have health problems or fear of heights.” I immediately STOP enjoying the hike. Everyone around me was chatting, having a great time. At that time, I secretly hated everyone there. “Don’t they know they could fall and die!!” I thought. “What fools!”

I decided that I was going to skip it. Although I would be the only one of seven who was going to miss this adventure. Nobody was pressuring me. It was totally fine with them if I wanted to stay behind.

Then my friend Wendy, a transformational life coach, casually mentioned that “it was going to be SO worth it. A once-in-a-lifetime thing.”

Oh dear. I would hate to miss that. And then I heard another person in our group, also a deeply gifted wellness professional whom I respect, saying that the energy of Pueblo Kiva is something that never ceases to amaze him. He has done it many times before!

“Oh no! I don’t want to miss this!” I thought of myself. “I’m going to have to do this.”

I was shaking. But I knew that the longer I sat there thinking about it, the more my “fear” would rationalize my staying on solid ground. So I hurried up the first staircase. First in line. Drink. (The trick is not to look up or down, just the next step. And being first in line wasn’t a matter of bravery, it was me avoiding having to watch my friends climb ahead of me and letting fear got even stronger).

After going up the first ladder, he was shaking, but he was still considering going back down to avoid the next two. But then my friends were right behind me.

Curse.

I have to continue.

You had to take turns with the people going down because the climbing route is very narrow and in order for my friends to climb the ladder as a group, I had to keep going. I went up the next two stairs. Phew! We took some quiet time to enjoy the energy of the ceremonial cave and ate some dark chocolate to celebrate.

Just one problem.

I had to go back down.

That was a bit more difficult. Every muscle was shooting, shaking and saying NO! Every time he started on the next stairway down, he would go through a 5 second thought process of…

– holy smoke, I can’t do this

– maybe Drew can take me

– Drew can’t carry me

– I’m terrified

– I have no idea how to get down

– I can not go down

– I have to go down

– A barely audible moan would escape my lips (yes – I whimpered in public!)

– This sucks!

– Oh dear!

– Here I go!!!!!!

Obviously, I survived. My legs and arms felt like jelly after the stress of it all. And yet, I must admit that I felt like a superwoman.

Was the Kiva really worth it?

It was really spectacular. And I’m glad I didn’t get lost. But what was really powerful for me is that this was the second time in my life that I didn’t let this fear of heights guide my choices. That’s possible when you’re in a group of people who are focused on going beyond what your mind says is possible. You automatically level up what you can do.

So.

The energy is truly contagious.

Who you hang out with profoundly affects what you can achieve. If I had been alone, I would not have gone up those stairs. And deep down, I knew that it would have been another score because of the fear at the forefront of my life. I’ve had enough of that and it doesn’t get me where I want it.

So who will you be with when you think about your practice goals? Will they be like my friends who inspired me to overcome my fears? Will they be like my hiking friends who encourage me to see that on the other side of my nerves and fears is a new level of self-esteem, confidence, and personal power?

Energy is contagious.

Going beyond your fears is well worth it.

You are very worth it.

Your vision of what you want to contribute to the world is worth it. What will you choose, your fear or what is on the other side of fear?

Hang out with me and 80 other wellness professionals in the field of health and life transformation and you’ll get where you want to go.

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