For many people, penetration is the most exciting because it is the most intimate act that we can perform with another person. The different positions add some variety to a very basic mating act. Women are much less interested in different positions. Rear entry can be more explicit and erotic.
Positions for intercourse include woman on top and doggy style with the man behind. Different positions for intercourse are popular with men because they allow them more explicit views of their thrusting action. Couples experiment for a while, but usually resume missionary-style sex. This position involves less work for the woman and gives the man the best position to control the stimulation he gets from thrusting.
Quickies can be erotic if used in different places. Quickies often involve a standing position, even if only the rear entry is bent over on a table or in the shower. The woman can lean against an object (a tree, a table, or the edge of the shower) or lean at 90 degrees and lie on her stomach. If a woman often moves her hips during intercourse (to help with penile stimulation and a more proactive sense of engagement), it can be nice to have an excuse to do absolutely nothing. A man’s need to ejaculate into an orifice is clear and can make a woman feel like a receptacle for semen. If a partner has a positive relationship, the rewards can go both ways.
Some men fantasize about having sex outdoors or in unusual places. The most proactive couples change the place of sex according to the needs. Some people enjoy the risk of being caught or watched in places like public transportation or the movies. Some people like to watch and others like to be watched. Dogging is popular in the UK, which involves couples having sex (often in the car) in woods designated for the purpose so that others (mainly men) can watch. Others may prefer the privacy and seclusion of places like a private garden or a remote rural location.
Some couples may enjoy dressing up or using fantasy role-playing to act out sexual scenarios. Some couples are drawn to tickling, spanking, and other kinky activities. It’s all part of the fun. What attracts depends on a person’s personality and fantasies. Much of this activity is purely sensual for a woman.
A man can tell a woman what he is thinking while stimulating her from behind. A man should speak in terms of drive, dominance, and possession rather than the graphic details that men enjoy. A man can caress the area between a woman’s thighs (from the clitoris to the anus). He can keep her buttocks apart before her and while she penetrates her. He can use one hand to hold a woman firmly while he dominates her (with her permission only!).
A man should change the rhythm of the thrusts and the depth of penetration by alternating between stimulating the glans of his penis at the entrance of his lover’s vagina (the most sensitive part) and using longer and deeper thrusts. A man can use his body weight to provide a sense of dominance. When a man thrusts deep, the base of his penis hits her vulva and perineum (towards the anus). The woman may enjoy mild sensations of arousal, especially when her partner’s groin grinds against her labia and clitoris.
A woman can enjoy the eroticism of being dominated (from the full body contact and weight) and the psychological satisfaction of being penetrated (from the knowledge that his penis is deep inside her body). Intercourse provides little internal sensation, but a woman may feel external pressure. A man can show affection for her by kissing and caressing her.
BDSM involves the use of physical restraints that limit a person’s range of motion and the performance of submissive and dominant roles by consenting adults. To increase safety, couples use a safe word so that the person in the submissive role can stop all activity. They also discuss in advance what they agree will be the limits of permitted activities. A less risky version involves wearing only light restraints and a blindfold to make the sex a bit more mysterious and heighten the sensations of being penetrated and touched by a lover.
Women often conclude that men lack imagination when it comes to sex. This is because intercourse is a relatively mundane repetitive act for a woman, whereas for a man, penetration represents the most erotic situation imaginable. This is natural given the biological sex drive of men. Many men have no need for fantasies of any kind because intercourse is enough for their sexual needs. For women, sex is a social experience rather than an erotic one. They expect a lover who is sensitive to their needs, which are more psychological than physical. Women enjoy sensual teasing, sexual anticipation, and feeling desired. All of this takes time, which is difficult for a younger man. Older men, who are less aroused, have the luxury of time to enjoy their own arousal and spend time pleasuring a lover.
As in the human species, it is the male among practically all mammals who initiates the definitive genital union. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)