Do you think you are dating a player? Do you want to avoid being his next conquest?
A player is a man who is actively seeking women and has a number of “relationships” at the same time. There are hundreds of courses and books on the market that teach men how to be fashion artists. How to master seduction techniques. How to get women to sleep with them. Unfortunately, there are many men who buy these products and use these techniques to become gamers.
If you find out that you are dating a player, you have 3 options: end the relationship, stay in the relationship, or decide to play your own game. No matter which one you choose, you must learn a few things to protect your heart.
How to know that you are dating a player
- Intentions: Always assume with each appointment that they have different intentions than yours. Even the kindest guy can display gamer tendencies if you let him. So always keep your guard up. You don’t want to be any man’s temporary toy or trophy.
- Attention: Look at the amount of attention he’s paying you right from the start. Do you seem almost obsessed? Does he call you often, more often than anyone else? Do you try to dedicate all your free time?
- Completed: Does he always compliment you, give you butter, make you feel good? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it seems like she’s doing it more than most men you date. A player will exaggerate the compliments, which makes him attractive, but it is a red flag.
- Future plans: Are you talking about the future after only a few weeks of dating? About the life that he wants to share with you? The house you want. Kids. Their dreams. Is it pushing you towards exclusivity? While a man who is interested in you can do this, he won’t do it as fast as a gamer. Remember that most men are very slow to talk about a committed relationship, so be careful with this.
- Consistency: Is it inconsistent? Players are not the most honest men. So listen to what he’s saying. This is the way most players are discovered. It’s easy to keep up the facade for a few weeks, but after a few months it’s hard to keep track of the lies.
- Friends: When you are around their friends, do they treat you like you don’t matter or are a joke? They make no effort to get to know you? They don’t want to meet you because they know that you will soon be replaced by the new flavor of the week.
- Looking good: Does your appearance matter more than your feelings? Players are obsessed with themselves and their needs. If you find that what you need is constantly in the background, you are probably with a gamer. Do you need to borrow money from her sometimes so that you can spend your money on looking good? Having the right clothes, the right car, being seen in the right places with the right people.
- Phone calls: After you’ve been dating for a while, have you suddenly gotten busy? Not answering your phone calls. And when he calls you back, he’s always busy and can’t talk for long. No more hour-long conversations about your future. Just a quick call to get you to stop calling him.
- Get out: After you’ve been dating for a while, has he stopped dating you? Do your dates tend to be at his house or yours? Does he keep you away from his friends or the places he frequents? The man who used to buy you dinner now limits his spending to a dollar redbox movie and microwave popcorn, trying to make you pay?
- Sex and money: Feel like a booty call or an ATM? Does it seem, after all that is said and done, that all you want is sex or money? In some cases, it may even appear that you are paying her for sex.
Players want to have a lot of women so they can always get what they want. Each woman can have a different purpose. Some for money, some for sex, some to show off. A player does not commit to anyone and does not want anyone to think that they are a couple because it limits his chances of getting more women. Your best bet is to avoid getting involved with a player in the first place.
If you find out that you are dating a player, you have 3 options:
- End the relationship immediately before it has its emotional toll. Know that you will not change a player. If you find that you have a habit of attracting players or being attracted to players, stop dating. Take the time to see why this is happening. Build your self-esteem and feel good about yourself before going out again.
- Stay in the relationship and eventually suffer for it. It is not what I would suggest. But women do it every day. But know that there will be pain and anguish if you decide to go this route. Therefore, if you decide to stay with your player, I recommend the third option.
- Accept that he is a player, establish the rules and limits of your game. and casually hanging out with other people too. If you keep dating him, it changes the game. Let your relationship work by your rules, not his. If this means slowing it down, do it. If that means interrupting you, do it. Do what’s best for you, not for him. Don’t play their game because if you do, the odds are against you. By dating other men, you will know and have a constant reminder that you do not have an exclusive relationship with your player. That is what the player wants, exclusive from YOUR part, never from his. Over time, you will discover that you really don’t want what your player offers.
Before going on a date, whether with a player or not, you need to set your limits. Decide on some time constraints for the stages of your relationship. Know in advance how slow or fast you want to move towards intimacy and exclusivity. The right man will wait. A player will get impatient and eventually stop trying. That’s an easy way to remove them so that you can focus your attention and affection on someone who will love you and be committed to you.